About Me

I want to share with the world my experiences of living a life sandwiched between Canada and India. Life might be crazy at your end, but I bet you will be amused by what I get to see often.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Demons and tears

Overtime her innocence had crumbled, shattered pieces of her heart thrown at her face by the many men she unconditionally fell in love with. Each time she picked up the pieces, put her tact-heart back in place, wiped those painful tears off and fell in love. Failure is not the right word, it's disappointment in love and loss of trust maybe in herself.

Unable to find anybody to console her scared senses, stop those precious drops of pearls from leaving her eyes- she is alone. I have tried telling her many times that I am with her but she can't see me. She cries all the time, I am shouting at her to stop and consoling her, putting my arms around her but she can't feel my arms, she can't hear my voice.

My favorite part is when she talks to me and tells me her fears, I'm the only one in this entire world she confides in. I know all about her- how scared she is sometimes, the moments when she wants to kill herself, how mad her parents make her feel, the dreams of her soul mate that she can't stop dreaming. I want her to one day find a friend or a lover, a real person, who won't judge her but will just listen. She never lets me talk, she told me she wants me to listen and not respond. I love her and maybe she loves me too. We both never pictured her life to turn out to be a bundle of never-ending misery, I wish for her happiness. Her tears make me cry, her sorrows make me hurt, her disappoints urge me loose faith.

If only she knew she is not alone, I am always with her.

2 comments:

  1. that is a woman Samrita. gives all of herself body and soul without keeping anything anything for herself. Consumes herself like a burning candle. And she doesn't even have the right to be in control of her life.
    The endure all the pain in the world

    your writing always triggers a song in me Samrita, your writing is musical please take it seriously

    this is a song by Trisha Yearwood
    i am leaving in another five minutes to Goa.
    its raining in buckets, don't know how to step out. i have to
    i'll be back on 12th and i'll mail you the song
    It is just beautiful
    here are the lyrics

    Song: I Don't Paint Myself Into Corners
    Album: Inside Out


    It took a while for me to see things as they were
    In the light of truth
    It wasn't you, it was me
    I let myself get used to drowning in the hurt
    Against the wall
    Who'd of thought, it was me
    From there I couldn't even look over my shoulder
    I kicked down all the walls and started all over

    And I don't paint myself into corners anymore
    In a brittle heart of clay
    I threw my brushes away
    The tools of the trade that chained your memory to me
    Are out the door
    I don't paint myself into corners anymore

    When you left you left me with no other choice at all
    But to sink
    To my knees, and cry
    I never knew just how far a soul could fall
    Like a rock
    I couldn't stop, didn't try
    I locked myself behind shades of misery
    But when I let you go, I set myself free

    And I don't paint myself into corners anymore
    In a brittle heart of clay
    I threw my brushes away
    The tools of the trade that chained your memory to me
    Are out the door
    I don't paint myself into corners anymore

    The tools of the trade that chained your memory to me
    Are out the door
    I don't paint myself into corners anymore

    The tools of the trade that chained your memory to me
    Are out the door
    I don't paint myself into corners anymore

    I don't paint myself into corners anymore

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  2. Samrita, are you ok ? hope you are
    please watch a movie called 'serendipity' it will make you feel good.

    Hope the weather is good for you to enjoy the Christmas holidays.

    merry Christmas

    please watch this
    http://ht.ly/3rzPv

    please send me a blank mail i'll mail you the song

    8pennylane@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete