I'm special and you are not!

Here's another discarded brain cell from me to you...
I used to think my love story, my life story and my life itself is unique-I still do sometimes cloud my judgement with this illusion but the truth is that we all do or say or think almost the same things at one time or another in our lives. What I did might be different from what you are planning to do but there is always some sort of a connection; so much for being special and what not!

The more people we meet in our lives, the more we educate ourselves about the circumstances around us, and the more we make an effort to empathize, the better people we tend to become. It always helps me to get out of an emotionally stressing bind if I realize that somebody somehwere has either gone through the same situation as me or is going through it right now or will be going through it sooner or later; therefore, I must stop sulking and move on! Nothing like self-motivation.

mom n me

I just realized that the only person whom I can ask to cook for me is my mom. She comes to my room and says 'come on, let's make dinner' and I say 'Go! make dinner mom'. By the time I am done with my laptop or studying or chatting or other miscellaneous deeds that occupy most of my time, dinner is already made.

I have a very complicated relationship with my mom-she hurts me but I realize it's unintentional. The way she was raised molded her values and her attitude, she never challenged those beliefs- and that's what makes her the person she is today. These values clash with mine and it hurts me all the time- I love those moments when I realize it's not her fault but it's just the way she is.

I love her but I hurt her too, I wish I wouldn't hurt her or woudn't argue with her but then that wouldn't be me. It's complicated but it works! It is the only way things could work :)
Strange!

Demons and tears

Overtime her innocence had crumbled, shattered pieces of her heart thrown at her face by the many men she unconditionally fell in love with. Each time she picked up the pieces, put her tact-heart back in place, wiped those painful tears off and fell in love. Failure is not the right word, it's disappointment in love and loss of trust maybe in herself.

Unable to find anybody to console her scared senses, stop those precious drops of pearls from leaving her eyes- she is alone. I have tried telling her many times that I am with her but she can't see me. She cries all the time, I am shouting at her to stop and consoling her, putting my arms around her but she can't feel my arms, she can't hear my voice.

My favorite part is when she talks to me and tells me her fears, I'm the only one in this entire world she confides in. I know all about her- how scared she is sometimes, the moments when she wants to kill herself, how mad her parents make her feel, the dreams of her soul mate that she can't stop dreaming. I want her to one day find a friend or a lover, a real person, who won't judge her but will just listen. She never lets me talk, she told me she wants me to listen and not respond. I love her and maybe she loves me too. We both never pictured her life to turn out to be a bundle of never-ending misery, I wish for her happiness. Her tears make me cry, her sorrows make me hurt, her disappoints urge me loose faith.

If only she knew she is not alone, I am always with her.